where are you from?

​Yes I’m doing it.  It’s the dreaded “Where are you from?”  It’s probably the question that makes all of us Asians vomit a little in our mouths every time we hear it.  And I’m not generalizing here.  Every single Asian in America has been asked this question.  And the conversation will almost always go like this. 
 
“Where are you from?”
 
The Asian person answers, “New York.”  (or some other city or town in America, yes the United States).
 
“No, where are you from, from?”
 
By this you mean, “Where are your ancestors from?”  To be cheeky and hopefully shut that person up, I often say, “Monkeys.”  Sometimes it stops there, cause the person asking has some semblance of sympatico with the human race and understands the inherent flaw in the question.
 
Sometimes you’re just dense and ask again.  Oh, I’m sorry, you meant, “Where are my parents from?”  Well, seeing as I’m adopted, I usually say, “My dad’s from New York and my mom’s from the burbs.”  This is usually followed by the are-you-dense stare, and then I have to say, “My parents are white.  I’m adopted.”  That answers the question of where my parents are from from (cause obviously white people are from from America).  But this won’t stop them finding out where I’m from from.  So they ask the question again.  And this doesn’t just happen to adoptees, mind you.  It happens to the lot of us.  They ask the question in another way to clarify an already tired situation.   
 
“I mean what is your heritage?” 
 
This is the new one I’m hearing a lot now.  Apparently, the “Where are you from?” has gotten so much heat behind it, this is the P.C. one to say (though politically correctness in and of itself exists as a way to recognize and not say the racist thing you meant to say … another topic for another day).  This phrasing is meant to minimize offense.  But does it? 
 
Are we being over-sensitive toward a well-intentioned curiosity?  You’re just trying to find out how we got here, right?  I mean, because we’re yellow, we definitely didn’t originate in America, right?  We must’ve come on a boat at some point.  Well news flash.  Unless you’re Native American, you came on a boat too.  
 
Further, just because you’ve visited Asia a few times and you think you can recognize where people are from by their facial features, doesn’t mean you deserve a pat on the back.  Do you know how many times I’ve been asked a variation of the dreaded question, the variation being, “You’re Japanese right?”  In all seriousness, do you think that by guessing my “heritage” you are somehow showing me how culturally aware you are?  All you’re pointing out to me is that I look different, and you couldn’t help but notice.  (Let’s not even go into the inherent racism in that comment, which implies all people from the same countries look alike). 
 
The answer to this question usually depends on my mood.  Sometimes I answer, “Hai,” which is “yes” in Japanese and confuse the shit out of them (mainly for my amusement).  Sometimes I just shorten the inevitable and say, “No, Korean.”  And the response is often “Awww, so close!”  Seriously.   
 
And sometimes, ding ding ding.  You guess right and ask, “You’re Korean, right?”  If I’m not in the mood, I’ll just answer “Yes.” (And yes, it’s cause it’s tiring, and I just want the conversation to end.  Well done world, the fight in me has left the building).   This is usually followed by an ecstatic, “I knew it!”  Nothing to be happy about though.  What do you know?  All you know is that you think you’re worldly somehow, cause you can differentiate the various shades of Asian.  All you know is what you don’t know.  That you are separating you from me.